Angry People Throwing Cauliflower

I was just assaulted in the grocery store checkout lane. I am now a victim of an unprovoked vegetabling. I will set the scene: I was second in line to check out and could tell that the woman in front of me was already having a bad day at 8:30 in the morning. I had unloaded my shopping cart, and the cashier had turned on the conveyer belt which was carrying my items closer to those of the already unhappy shopper. As sometimes happens, when the belt stopped moving, some of the items got bunched together and my little head of cauliflower jumped over the divider and into Angry Woman’s area. She grabbed the offending vegetable and threw it at me. Really. She threw it. As she did so, she screamed, “Keep your “beep”ing cauliflower to yourself!”

Now, I thought that was a rather harsh reaction. I also thought that no cauliflower deserves to be called a vulgar name. It is not the most attractive food and some may not like it, but it really is just an innocuous, non-threatening cruciferous vegetable.

Obviously, I know that she wasn’t mad at my cauliflower. But this is a humorous example of what is going on in the world today. Many people seem to be extraordinarily angry and simple situations can heat up and escalate pretty quickly. There are many reasons for people’s anger but what are we to do when their rage is directed toward us?

• Take responsibility for your reaction to other people’s anger. Realize that allowing someone else’s rage to affect you is handing over control of your own emotions.

 

• Telling an angry person to calm down is like throwing gasoline on a fire. Their anger is based in insecurity or fear and suggesting that they relax and take a deep breath will probably cause them to think their feelings are being ignored or discounted.

 

• Try to look at someone’s anger through the lens of compassion. I know it sounds strange to feel compassionate toward someone who has just exploded, said unkind things or thrown a cauliflower at you, but entertain the possibility that the angry person has just experienced some sort of incident, trauma or perhaps heard some news that has rocked their world. It is possible that they could just be a troll….but give them the benefit of the doubt.

 

• Understand that acknowledging someone’s anger is not saying that they were justified in their bad behavior, but it is a kind thing to do and it elevates you above the fray.

 

• Do not engage in the tantrum. Even though you may feel like slapping someone who is spewing venom or throwing vegetables at you, try to take the higher road and de-escalate the situation by refusing to participate in the drama.

 

So, who knew that a grocery store experience would prompt an article? But here it is and I leave you with this valuable tip: When you see a flying cauliflower coming your way…duck! And be grateful that it isn’t an airborne tuna fish can!

 

Linda Henley-Smith is a speaker and life-mapping coach who uses real life situations in her presentations. http://www.lindahenley-smith.com

 

 

Tags: anger management, attitude, balance, humor, inspiration, laughter, motivation, National Speakers Association, NAWDP, Toastmasters