Posts Tagged ‘self’

The “BUT”-Kickin’ Diva’s Rules of Life

July 21, 2017
  • Always take your work seriously and yourself lightly.
  • You need to be responsible for your own happiness. It does not come from an outside source.
  • Do not deny or suppress negative feelings…identify them, deal with them, and then let them go.
  • Make laughter a priority! It is a wonderful communicator, motivator, and healer! It is the spark that ignites balance, health, confidence, and hope.
  • Realize that there is really no such thing as a “bad day.” A day is just a day. Unpleasant things may happen, but it is up to you to decide how to deal with each situation. When you have been given the precious gift of another day of life, how can it be bad? We may not be able to choose the way we die, but we can choose the way we live.
  • Consider all of your options. If something isn’t working, try a different approach. You wouldn’t stand in a darkened room and continue to flip the light switch if nothing happened when you did it. You would find another way to fill the room with light. If your life isn’t working, try another path. Learn to create alternatives.
  • Kick your “BUTS” and don’t live your life in the “IF ONLY” syndrome! Avoid thinking “IF ONLY I was richer, thinner, taller, smarter, younger, more popular, etc…then I would be happy.” Also do not ever allow your excuses to take over your life!
  • Do not throw yourself pity parties. Very few guests will attend and nobody will bring gifts!
  • Maintain an attitude of altitude. Things aren’t always going to go your way, but you do have control about how you approach every situation. Your attitude reflects who you are, what you value, and how you choose to live. Look for opportunities to appreciate life and don’t worry about being “happy” all of the time. Happiness can be fleeting and may depend on outside stimuli, whereas joy is deeper and more abiding.
  • Forgive. Forgiveness isn’t giving someone a pass for hurting you, nor is it giving anyone permission to do it again. Forgiveness is about refusing to allow someone else’s hurtful actions to dictate how you live your life or define who you are.
  • Appreciate each day and celebrate the small victories. Live with an attitude of gratitude.
  • Be a merchant of kindness. Don’t jump on the snarky bandwagon! Kindness is the gift that keeps on giving.


e-mail me at for more information about my “But-Kickin’ programs, classes, and coaching.


Poor Poor Pitiful Me!

June 6, 2013

You are cordially invited to attend a celebration of misery.
Guest of Honor: Me
Time: Whenever I feel like it
Place: Anywhere I happen to be when the self-pity hits me
Come and help me wade and wallow in the wastewater of worldly woe! There will be no entertainment because I am to be the center of attention. Whine will be served.

How would you like to receive an invitation like this in the mail? Would you want to attend? Probably not, yet people extend such invitations all the time! We all love to moan and groan every now and then and it makes it a lot more gratifying to have an audience. When we are wading and wallowing in our woe, the last thing we want is for someone to tell us to cheer up because every cloud has a silver lining. Personally, when I’m contributing to Global Whining, I don’t want to hear about any silver lining…I want sympathy and I want it now!!

Part of the fun of being human and imperfect is that it’s acceptable to feel lousy sometimes. The trick is to feel it, wallow in it for a bit and then move on without making it a part of who you are. Friends will usually sympathize and comfort you for a while, but after the appropriate pity party period of time has come and gone…so will your audience. That’s healthy because a true friend will always stick by you when you really need it, but will also give you a clear message that it’s time to put on your grown-up pants and deal with life, when you’ve stretched the Whine Festival long enough. If someone cares about you, he or she doesn’t want to see you playing “Pin the Tale of Woe on Yourself” for too long!

When we stay too long at the pity party, we begin to define ourselves by everything that is wrong and not appreciate and nurture what is right or focus on the possibilities. Life is a roller coaster and we have to stay strapped in and hold on it through the dips as well as the highs, or else we will go flinging off and spin out of control! When you stop to think about it, that’s OK because without the dips, a roller coaster would be pretty boring and we’d probably want our money back. If we never experienced the challenges, disappointments or sadness in life, we wouldn’t really be able to understand or feel the excitement and exhilaration of the good times. The lows make the highs even sweeter!

The next time you think about throwing a pity party for yourself, try to remember that too much Whine can make you sick. Also, it’s difficult to get people to attend pity parties on a regular basis, and they usually don’t bring gifts.