Archive for January, 2013

Don’t Let Trolls Block Your Goals!

January 29, 2013

There are a lot of well-meaning people out there, who insist upon telling you things “for your own good.” I have found that whenever someone begins a comment with, “I don’t want to discourage you, but I feel that for your own good; before you attempt this, I need to tell you something”… I am about to have a pitchfork pop my happy bubble.

I’m not really sure why it seems to be in some people’s nature to want to derail another person’s dreams, but I’m guessing there are a few reasons. It is possible that a warning is issued out of genuine concern, which is probably the case when a parent sees a child heading in a dangerous direction. But, as for the rest of the “goal trolls” out there who just seem to want to burst balloons….maybe it is because of jealousy, or fear that another person will do something that they want to do, or maybe they are just trolls. Who knows?

If you have ever had a passion to get out of your comfort zone and try something new, you may have heard some of these Troll “buts”:

“You can try, BUT only a very few people ever make it!” Well, that is probably because those are the ones who got off of their “buts” and tried it!

“You can try it, BUT I’d hate to see you fail!”  You can tell the troll that he or she needn’t worry about you failing because you know that the only way you would feel like a failure is to stay stagnant and never try to get out of your box!

“You can try if you want someday, BUT don’t you think you should be more careful now?” This is an interesting one because it means that the issuer of this question has put himself in the lofty position of knowing what is best for you. It is an assumption that you are not wise enough to weigh the pros and cons of a decision and be smart about it. Besides, when is “someday?” It isn’t even a day of the week!

The world is full of dream stealers who may not even realize what they are doing when they offer misguided advice. They just may be frightened and sad that they don’t have the courage to step out and dare to follow their own dreams. Whatever the case, each of us has the ability and the personal responsibility to make the most out of every day with which we have been blessed.  We can listen to the words of the naysayers and then make our own decisions. I love this quote by Steve Jobs: “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuitions.”

If you have a dream, decide whether you want to keep it in your own head or make it a reality. If you choose the latter….claim this triumphant victory call: “Goal Trolls…. be Gone!”

 

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The Blank Fortune Cookie

January 4, 2013

Fortune cookies are fun. Most of us look forward to cracking them open and reading what the future holds for us.  I have had a few that I could stretch to be appropriate for what was going on in my life and some that were pretty doggone funny…for instance, I once got one which read, “The answer you seek is in another cookie.” Hmmm…the story of my life! Another favorite:  “I can’t tell your fortune…I’m just a dessert!” And the ever popular, “Thanks for letting me out of this cookie!” I still haven’t figured out the meaning of this one: “The rubber bands are all headed in the same direction.”

The year 2012 was not particularly great for me.  The roller coaster ride seemed to have more dips than highs; which is just the way that life goes sometimes. There were many blessings, but also many losses and unexpected twists and turns. So, when a friend and I went for Chinese food a few days ago, I laughingly suggested that the fortune in my cookie might offer me an idea of what 2013 has in store.

Well, the paper in my cookie was blank.  On both sides.  There were no suggestions for me, which could either be because someone was slacking off in the fortune cookie factory or because I have no future. However, I choose to entertain the other possibility….I can write my own fortune!

Although I had a good laugh about my “un-fortune,” it started me thinking about how easily I can fall into the trap of letting unpleasant situations and setbacks dictate how I define myself and prevent me from moving forward.  I reminded myself that I don’t have to wait for others to write the script for my life, and difficult times don’t have to dictate my future or my attitude.  The past doesn’t have to repeat itself in the future and every minute is a new beginning.  I can keep the things in my life that are serving me well, and move away from those things that are not.

Probably one of the best things that can happen to us is that we occasionally get a blank fortune because then we have a clean slate on which we can design and create.  Of course, nobody really puts any credibility into those fortunes; but when you get an empty one, it makes you think of the possibilities.

As you enter 2013, I hope you will march into it triumphantly, not with a spirit of timidity.  I also wish for you, an empty fortune cookie; and with that…the assurance of your ability to know what is best for you and how to find balance in your life.  After all, you certainly don’t want to be in the path of all those rubber bands heading in the same direction!  Just remember that if you don’t do anything to determine your own future, you will have to accept whatever future you get…and that is how the fortune cookie crumbles!