Archive for August, 2012

The Blame Game

August 28, 2012

Do you remember the old song, “The Name Game?” You know….a catchy little tune with rhyming words like Linda, Linda, Bo Binda, Banana Fanna Fo Finda, Fee Fie Mo Minda…Linda.  If you don’t remember that song, you are not as old as I, which is to say that you probably did not ride dinosaurs to school like I did. Anyway, it seems as if these days, a lot of us are playing the Blame Game, which is not as peppy and fun as the Name Game song and you can’t even dance to it.

When we play the Blame Game, we do not take ownership of our own thoughts, actions and reactions; instead, we blame other circumstances. We can act rudely, be snarky and make excuses for our negative behavior, all in the name of stress.  It’s easy to convince ourselves that we can’t feel any joy because we are feeling pressure from outside forces…our past, other people, tough situations, etc.  We say that we don’t have a choice because life is stressing us out. But we really have more control over our actions than we think. We can claim an attitude of altitude or choose to blame everything else for our rotten luck. Claim or blame….the choice is ours!

It’s easy to lay our behavior or our self-defeating thoughts off onto some outside stimuli. But consider this: If you squeeze an orange by applying lots of pressure to the outside of it…what comes out of that orange? Orange juice.  No amount of pressure is going to cause that orange to release apple juice, prune juice, milk, gasoline, or anything else. The only thing that can come out of that orange is orange juice because that’s what’s in there!  Nothing can come out that wasn’t in there in the first place!  The same holds true for your brain. If you consistently condition your mind with negative and self-defeating thoughts; you’ll probably find that when you are under pressure, negativity is what is going to come out! On the other hand, if you practice positive self-talk and choose to view things with hope and maybe even a little humor; when you feel squeezed, chances are that you will be able to handle things with a little more calmness, kindness and creativity. We will act according to what we have chosen to plant and nurture in our minds.

Relinquishing control of our attitudes and blaming other people or situations is a losing proposition.  When people feel out of control, they become angry and lash out in a frenzy of nastiness. Sadly, there seems to be a lot of that kind of stuff going on in the world!  And becoming mean-spirited can backfire!  For instance, I recently read a sign on which one group was labeling members of another group as “idots.” I think if you’re going to call someone an idiot, you should probably make sure you are spelling it correctly, so you do not appear to be an “idot” as well! See what negativity can do to you?