Archive for May, 2012

Head + Heart = Good Decision!

May 23, 2012

It seems as if we spend a lot of time trying to figure things out.  Personally, I often contemplate issues such as: Where does fat go when you lose it? Does it just float around in the universe until it finds a new home on the hips of some poor, unsuspecting person?  And, I wonder why the universe sees fit to make sure I always choose the wrong checkout line in the grocery store. But, I also try to solve more important challenges from time to time, as we all do.

We are told to “think things through” before making decisions, and to “use our heads” when solving problems.  Our heads are indeed important, but so are our hearts! I think we are sometimes able to make better decisions when we give some credit to our “gut” feelings and hold back a little on idolizing our intellect.

When I sense that something in my life is askew, I feel it in my solar plexus; often referred to as the pit of your stomach…your gut…if you will. I think that is the center of all of our emotions.  It’s probably why some people lose their appetites when they are grappling with a problem. On another personal note, I often lose my temper, I always lose my keys and at times I have lost my mind…however, I have never lost my appetite. But, I digress….

Seriously; in order to live a balanced life, we need to use both head and heart in making decisions and choosing our paths. Sometimes, we can know something intellectually and yet still feel uncertainty in our gut. When there is a disconnect between the two….it can cause us to be conflicted.  If most of our reactions and decisions are based on our intellect and logic, and we don’t allow our heart to join in, we become double-minded and that can often be confusing. However, if we let emotions and gut play a part; we become single-minded, because both of our decision-making mechanisms are united and working as one.

I have come up with an acronym to help me step aside and take a look at challenging situations with a more complete perspective, using all of my senses, my emotional intelligence, and especially my gut feelings:

Get out of your head.

Utilize your emotions.

Trust your instincts.

If we learn to have our heads and hearts work in tandem…we just might find out how great it feels to trust ourselves to make good decisions!

 

“Forgive Your Enemies…Nothing Annoys Them as Much!” —Oscar Wilde

May 14, 2012

It happens. Chances are; at least once in your lifetime, someone will betray you. Somewhere along the line, most of us experience the feeling of being let down by someone and we end up feeling sad, mad and most definitely, we feel like we’ve been had!

Since we are human, our emotions play a huge role in who we are. When we put our trust in someone and they don’t live up to our expectations, we get disappointed and hurt, and if we don’t deal with it in a healthy way, that resentment grows into a monster troll that can eat us up. Hanging on to anger and being an active participant in “blamestorming” can cause us to get stuck in a rut of despair.

When we think someone has “done us wrong,” it’s easy to hop onto the revenge train and imagine how we can get even or how we can punish the person responsible for our misery. Little evil gremlins sit on our shoulders and tell us that if we forgive, it is the same thing as giving a “free pass” to the person who hurt us. They tell us that we would feel better if only we could make the other person pay for what he or she has done.  When we listen to the nasty little voices, we are allowing toxic thoughts to poison our minds and our bodies. Negativity turns in to stress. Stress turns into illness. Making another person feel guilty can make us feel like we’re in control, but that’s a convoluted and sick kind of power. The healthier path is to get over yourself and put your ego aside!

The act that hurt you will always remain a part of your history because you can’t go back and erase it. But, choosing to forgive can allow you to focus on other positive parts of your life and even allow you to adopt a new and improved attitude about things. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you are justifying the wrong, but it does mean that you are refusing to be a volunteer victim. It means that you are choosing to be bigger than the betrayal!

As a child, when I felt betrayed, I perpetrated my share of revenge acts…none too serious, thank goodness! Okay..I admit to burying Joey’s crayons in his glue bottle after he hurt my feelings, and I will own up to opening Ellen’s lunch box and taking bites out of her sandwich, when I found out she told a lie about me. But.as I grew older and the hurts seemed to run deeper; I learned that I can’t wait until I FEEL like forgiving because that day may never come. Forgiveness isn’t a feeling…it is a choice. And forgiveness is not so much to benefit the other person (who may or may not even realize they have hurt you) as it is for your own benefit! It feels good to release those trolls and gremlins and make space for happier thoughts!